emilynisch

Dark Things to Diamonds

In Christianity, Life on July 7, 2009 at 8:46 pm

I’ve heard people say that it’s important to spend time with God daily, building up a reservoir of him in yourself, so that when something happens, or you come across someone in need, you will be ready to pull something up out of that reservoir. The people I’ve heard say this are frequently ones that I consider more mature than myself. Rather than believe them and start doing it myself, the rebuff I offered in my head was something like, “the Spirit doesn’t work that way – he’s always with you and can give you something in the moment.”

While I think it’s true that the Spirit will provide you with what you need in a situation (God’s plan is, in fact, often bigger, more loving, etc, than your own), there are some situations that are best met by a reservoir. Recently I’ve gone through a number of circumstances that offered me the opportunity to respond in several ways – all of which boiled down to either responding out of light or out of darkness; out of the stuff of God, or the stuff of sin.

I haven’t passed these tests as well in the past, and realizing this helped me see that my days and weeks and months of fighting the good fight in myself (by God’s power) had changed me. Or, it had built a reservoir in me. Wait – which was it?

Maybe the two aren’t so different. All I know is that the investment I put into myself as I read the bible, chose faith over unbelief, chose to acknowledge and reject sin in myself, chose to accept accountability and openness in confession and much much more had built up wisdom, obedience, faith, etc that were now proving themselves useful as good answers to the potentially confusing situations I was now facing.

And – they were proving themselves immediately accessible. The situations that prompted this realization and discussion didn’t allow me the time or place to absent myself and spend time with God. I had to immediately respond – and I found I was doing that in a good way.

Maybe this is just maturity – and maybe that’s all that building the reservoir means – allowing God to change you and put his deposits of light deep within you so that’s what comes out when you’re pricked.

I’m the reservoir – of good or evil, whichever way I choose when I’m offered the choice. Luckily God’s always digging deeper in me, transforming dark things to diamonds. As I choose God daily, and choose in favor of the light in me over the darkness, I become more light. 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